Parents from around the world have opened up the regret they feel after having children in a Facebook group called I Regret Having Children (stock photo)

Numerous women have spoken about their regrets over having children, with some saying the ‘hate’ motherhood, and others revealing they don’t like their kids.

The reluctant parents, from around the world, have shared their stories anonymously in a Facebook group called I Regret Having Children.

Those who have posted in the group opened up about the social pressure to have children, as well as pressure from loved ones, the struggles in caring for kids with developmental disorders, and their own mental health battles. 

Regretting having children is not uncommon, according to a 2021 YouGov poll which found that one in 12 Brits (some eight per cent of parents) wish they hadn’t had them. 

Parents from around the world have opened up the regret they feel after having children in a Facebook group called I Regret Having Children (stock photo)

One poster from the US said: ‘My biggest regret. I don’t hate my son, but I hate being a mother.

‘I hate myself for making the decision to have a child. It’s so hard, I feel like I don’t have any freedom since I’m a mother. I’m just waiting for him to sleep, because I’ll finally be alone.

‘I have a partner, I can’t stand him anymore, but I can’t be a single mom, I can’t be alone with my son. It’s just hard.. thank you for reading.’ 

Meanwhile, another asked for advice, after revealing that she only had a baby because her husband wanted one, admitting that she never wanted to be a mother.

She is now suffering from postpartum depression, and feels anxious whenever she is around the baby.

She wrote: ‘I never wanted to have a child, but my husband did. I got pregnant right away and had the worst pregnancy and an emergency c section. 

‘I was not ready to have a child and as soon as she was born I remember laying on the operating table knowing I didn’t love her and didn’t want her. I am now a year post partum and have extreme PPD. 

‘I don’t want to be around my child. I don’t want to play with her, hold her, or be in the same room as her. I get so anxious just being around her or counting down the hours until she gets out of daycare. I am in therapy and on medication but nothing seems to get better. Not sure what to do.’ 

Anonymous parents have shared their stories online, revealing that they regret having children, and explaining why

Another spoke about the transient need children have for their parents, implying that her own offspring have little contact with her now.

They wrote: ‘They love you sooo much and then the teenage years. After that, they think you’re a pain in the ass and have no time for you. The teenage years are better than how they ignore you when they are in their 20s. Then, it’s like you never existed. Unless they need you to babysit.’ 

For another parent, it was having three children that had pushed her into ‘resenting’ her kids daily, which she said made her feel like ‘a piece of garbage’. 

She explained: ‘I’m the mother of a 4.5 year old and two 5-year-old twins. I’m not sure a day has gone by that I don’t resent having three kids. I wanted two, but the second pregnancy was twins so that was that. I love them all and they’re all super smart. But I’m exhausted, and the littlest things set me off and make me wish I could be somewhere else. 

‘Life would be so much easier and more manageable if there were only two. And I feel like a piece of garbage.’

 Some of the parents who posted in the group revealed that they were exhausted by having children, and they missed their freedom 

Intense dislike for their co-parent was what made one parent regret having a child.

‘After two years I realize the only reason I hate being a parent is because of my child’s father,’ the anonymous poster admitted.

‘I wish I would’ve never let him put his name on the birth certificate. He only shows up when it’s convenient for him or when his mommy makes him. He’s abusive and extremely childish but won’t leave permanently. He plays victim and in all honesty me and my child would be better off without him but I don’t know how to make that happen. I wish he would just disappear from our lives forever and I could just tell my child he died. ‘

Among the posters, were those whose children had developmental challenges, which had made parenting even more difficult.

One wrote: ‘I feel so trapped in my life. I have a 27-year-old daughter who will never be mentally over the age of about 16. I have my granddaughter who is three-years- old. I wish I could just raise my granddaughter and have my daughter go away, but I know that would be harmful to my granddaughter. So I feel I have no choice but to continue to struggle through this life.’ 

Some said they felt trapped – either with their co-parent, or with their offspring, leaving them struggling 

Several parents lamented the lack of freedom they have had since having children, with one writing: ‘I have a one-year-old daughter. I love her with all my heart, but I wish I never had her. 

‘Before having her, I had my freedom and could do anything I wanted to, could go out anytime, come home any time. I feel jealous of my husband; he doesn’t help with any parenting. He most of the time only comes home to sleep, f*** and have breakfast. If I ever ask him to take our daughter to the park so I can have quiet time, it turns into a big argument. I have breakdowns and just cry cause I miss my freedom. Please don’t have kids unless you want to lose yourself.’

Another parent admitted that their ‘soul just craves for a quiet, peaceful life’, adding that she felt ‘ashamed and full of guilt for feeling this way’.

She added: ‘No children that need me constantly, no husband to serve or wait upon. No one else’s laundry to wash but my own, making my own food that I want as opposed to what my children will eat and what my husband will eat. 

Among the reasons cited by parents who regret having children is their loss of freedom, and their loss of a quiet, peaceful life

‘I crave to sit and read and write to my heart’s content, to create with no interruptions, to do anything for myself without the weight of mom guilt ruining it. To sleep all night with no one crying for me or someone needing my body.’    

One poster questioned why society isn’t more honest about motherhood, and the sacrifices it requires.

The wrote: ‘Why are people not more honest about motherhood? The sacrifice? The humiliation if the child deviates from anything but normal? The expectation that the mom sacrifice EVERYTHING? Being held to higher standards than the fathers? 

#Hearing negativity and being seen in a negative light if she speaks anything other than loving motherhood?? Especially how if the relationship doesn’t work how she will be shamed, judged, criticized when the father won’t have those problems???

‘Oh wait, are these the reasons why people keep reality on the low???’

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By Jon Doe